WHO?

A song that captures your moment of hell
played over and over again
a poem that mirrors your inner most pain
read on and on and on

the dark spectre who lurks in your private thoughts trips lightly through your dreams
the feeling of terror, the threat to your life that rips from you a scream

on the edge of sanity, always there the primal one, the phobic fear
to grasp at you, sinks talons deep to follow you in wake and sleep

who is the dark one,
dare we ask
to hear his name, to know his past
he is ourselves,
he is our sin

the other side of what’s within...

ADDICTION

A modern name, yet it is part of us, part of our basic spirit. What is it that makes us crave for things. Need things with a hunger we can't control. Sometimes positive things.....sometimes so negative that they eventually kill us.

There is a need in everyone that is the essence of us. The very essence of our being, and that is a need for love, acceptance, and comfort. It is in us from conception, it is our first emotion, and the emotion that guides us through our journey in life. It holds us. Binds us to people, places, objects. It is everything a human is. Our first love...our mother love for the person who cares for us when we first come into the world. What is that love. Its warmth, comfort, the feel of a breast, the taste of milk, the satisfying feeling of nourishment...the all encompassing feeling of safety. It is our world in the beginning, it is everything. Then as we grow and develop. Our love for our care giver gives them permission to shape our world. We slowly become independent, looking to them for guidance in how we view our world....and thus how we KNOW our world. Our circle of love grows to include others...but that original love never dies. The need for it stays with us forever. No matter who our first care giver is, they shape us, that is our mother love.

This is our first addiction. It reacts in us the same way as all other addictions we have...we crave it because its world is warm, accepting, comforting, nurturing, loving and safe. Its a soft emotion in our solar plexus that grows and radiates through us, embedding itself in every cell in our body until it controls us...every part of us.

A child is born into this world. A world that rushes around it, at the speed of light. A world that is cold. And our world is cold, in trying to care for millions it has forgotten how to care for one. A world where so many parents have to break the bond early to work, to make money to care for the child. To build a comfortable life for that child. To make a future for that child. They take that essential time from the child. And even when parents are with the child, what are they thinking? What are the emotions they are conveying? What are they doing?

Our world is not outside ourselves. It is in us. Filling us with anxieties fears. Are we doing the right thing, how with that bill be paid, what will happen if something happens to us, what will we do if he or she walks into her place of employment and finds that envelope waiting for them that says "we are downsizing"

We invite the world into our homes in so many ways. Through Media we are bombarded with images war, destruction, greed, manipulation, starvation, depravity and deprivation from. Which insists on showing us negativity in such magnitude that we are left feeling crushed with hopelessness at our inability to change these things. We rage inside ourselves, then our spirit is slowly worn down into a state of despair, then detachment. Our spirit stop empathising...thus, it stops feeling. The child now bears that glazed expression. The child doesn't care about the outside world, because the outside world doesn't care about it, and the image the child has of the world is our own. Only it is viewed through a child's eyes.

Faced by this world, a child ventures out, testing the waters, finding themselves. Inside themselves they are developing the "I am". But who?

They search, they find people who share the feelings and thoughts they do. They bond. They want to make a difference in the world but they feel that they can't. So these thoughts and feelings go inwards. They start another search, they want the mother love again. They want to feel its warmth, acceptance, comfort, the satisfying feeling of nourishment and the encompassing feeling of safety.

Where do they go?